The American Beverage Institute, a “restaurant trade association” devoted to protecting on-premis alcohol consumption, took out an ad in USA Today featuring Lindsay Lohan’s mugshot and arguing that ignition interlocks (which work similar to the Breathalyzer and keep the car from starting if the driver’s blood alcohol level is over the device’s programmed limit) are okay for serial drunk drivers like Lohan, but not for the rest of us.

Naturally, their use of Ms. Lohan’s mug drew a fair amount of attention to the ad.  However, I’m much more horrifed by the text below.  You can click on the above image, but here’s what the ABI argues:

“Ignition interlocks, or in-car breathalyzers, are a great tool for getting hard-core drunk drivers off our roads. However, activists now want to put one in every car in America. That means the end of moderate and responsible drinking prior to driving…No more champagne toasts at weddings, no more wine with dinner, no more beers at a ballgame.
Let’s stop drunk driving without eliminating our traditions.”

I could understand this argument if ignition interlocks kept people from driving if their Breathalyzer showed any alcohol; after all, the legal limit is .08.  But the devices are programmed to keep the car from starting at a certain blood alcohol concentration level.  If you take that into account, the ABI is basically arguing that for “the rest of us,” the good people of America, ignition interlocks would take away our time-honored American tradition of driving drunk after our weddings, dinners, and/or ballgames.  How do you square “moderate, responsible drinking” with drinking that would put you over the blood-alcohol limit?

What the hell?  I mean, come on, American Beverage Institute; I like a drink as much as the next person, probably even more than the next person, but you know what else I like?  Being alive, and being socially responsible and not endangering other people.  From my brief internet research, it seems like there are plenty of reasons to argue against mandatory ignition interlocks that don’t rest on the argument that they’ll take away our hallowed tradition of driving drunk.  You know, drunk, but just a little drunk, not like Lindsay Lohan drunk, so it’s fine, c’mon, stop being so uptight, all the cool kids are doing it!

Sensational celebrity mugshots aside, this advertisement is socially irresponsible and idiotic.  EPIC FAIL, American Beverage Institute.  Just for this, all of my drinking binges from now on will all occur OFF-premises.